A Life Gone Too Soon

I found out earlier this week that a girl, who lives in my town, who some of my youth from church know and who some of my family know committed suicide because of depression. I do not personally know this girl. I'm not going to use her name, pictures or anything about her life story because I do not know her and because I do not have permission from the family to use these things! 

Instead, I will talk about the impact that depression does have on people and how important it is that it gets recognized as a disease! As a daughter, a depression survivor, mom of two little girls of my own, a psychology major, counselor and therapist I would like to take the time talk about depression. 

Family and friends can say, 'she was depressed.' 'She was sad.' She was angry.' But NOBODY, I mean nobody but her can know what she was going through. It doesn't matter how many people she talked to about it or how much medication she was on, nothing is going to help unless she wants/makes it change.

I'm not going to sit here and say that I know exactly how she feels or I know exactly what she went through because even though I did go through the same feelings, actions & medication that she did, everyone's depression is different.

You might think, 'only if I would have talked to someone or took the medication properly or seen a psychologist things would be different.' It doesn't work that way. It doesn't matter how many people you talk to or how much medication you take for your depression or anxiety, it had to be you that changes. 

Nine out of ten times it is your friends, family or something that's going on in YOUR life that's making you depressed, angry, sad, mad or hurt. YOU have to be the one that changes. You have to be the one to turn your back on all the negative that's going on in your life and you will feel 10x better! That doesn't mean it's going to be a quick fix. It just means that maybe you need to take a step back and realize you could be happier without all this pain. It's not going to take hours or days, it will take months or years. 

People with depression and suicidal thoughts tend to bottle it up until it's too late. Learn to recognize the signs of depression.

-Feelings of worthlessness

-feeling that you don't belong

-Tired

-Loss of interest in activities that you used to love

-being sad all the time 

These are just a few. These are the ones you will notice the quickest. Surround yourself with loved ones. Surround this person with love and desire and show them that they are not alone. 

You know, we all say "Oh, I'm so depressed today. Just got so much going on." Or "It's such a depressing day. I couldn't get to the Y today." It doesn't matter what context the word 'depression' is in, it's still a serious disease and we need to take it seriously. 

My prayers go out to this girl's family and friends. If you need anyone to talk to you can email me at arweyer@gmail.com or leave a comment. 

Adolescent Psychology

I was recently thinking about getting my Masters in Child Psychology and working with kids that have mental disabilities, ADHD, Autism. But recently I have been thinking about teens more and everything they have to go through to fit in. I am thinking of getting my masters in adolescent Psychology. 

Adolescent psychology is the study of teens. Becoming an adolescent psychologist means that I will be working with teens between the ages of 13 & 19. I will be helping them with their feelings. Depression, PTSD, anorexia, bulimia, bipolar, etc. 

While there is always a need for child psychologists, I think I would benefit from adolescents a little better. 

Smoking while Pregnant

I have been thinking about this subject for a couple of weeks now. Every where I go, it seems like all I see is pregnant women or girls. I see them light up a cigarette as if it is candy. It is usually the people who are first time parents and think it will not happen to them because it is their first child or parents who have multiple children and have smoked in the past with their children and says, oh it will not happen to me. It happens to everybody, the signs may not show up until the child is older. I know this is a touchy subject for both pregnant and not pregnant mothers and non mothers for that fact. I know that it's not that these mothers do not care, well, maybe some of them really don't care, but that is pretty sad! Anyway, These mothers are usually not well educated on these facts. Many of them really do not realize the damage they are doing to their babies.

Some facts about smoking while pregnant that I found from American Pregnancy Association.

• When you smoke, your baby smokes! The poisons that you inhale, carbon monoxide, nicotine, lead, and arsenic can harm your baby. These poisons get into the placenta and this causes your baby to lose oxygen. 
• Preterm labor, DEATH, and low birth weight can be caused by smoking while pregnant. Your baby can weigh too little and have health problems, even mental problems through out his/her life. Or worse, your baby could be DEAD! 
• Smoking during pregnancy could cause physical growth problems, learning disabilities, and lung problems. 
• The baby can get more pneumonia and bronchitis through out his/her life. 
• Your baby does not receive the oxygen or nutrients that he/she needs to survive. 

Some people think the risks are not that bad because they know people who have smoked during pregnancy and their baby was just fine. It doesn't always show up at birth. These babies will have long term affects. ADHD, lung problems as they grow up, behavioral problems, and learning disorders. 

I know it is easy for me, as a non smoker to say that you cannot or are not supposed to smoke while pregnant because I have never had to go through the steps or pain that it takes to stop. But, you are having a baby, THE most precious thing in the world (to most people) so this should be cause enough to make you quit smoking. You don't necessarily have to quit smoking, okay, you do for 9 months. But remember, your baby can get second hand smoke, or even third hand smoke and can acquire cancer, lung problems, sickness and ear infections through out his/her life. 

Here are some tips to help you stop smoking while pregnant... Make a list of some of the benefits...your baby should be on the top of that list. 

Some benefits for your baby should be...

• Lowers the risk of your baby being born underweight or too early. Most people don't see this is a problem and those people are the ones who are not very educated on the subject. Low birth weight or underweight means that the baby may not survive because there was not enough oxygen to the baby and may have to be put on oxygen in the hospital for several days, weeks or even months and even then the survival rate is not good. 
• By quitting, you will know that your baby will receive the proper nutrients and oxygen.
• Lowers the risk of your baby having health problems
• Increases the chance that your baby will go home with you from the hospital

Have a strong support system. Keep your mouth and hands busy, chew gum, take up knitting. Ask your doctor for resources.