Ways to Stop Yelling

If you are having "power" struggles with your children or yelling matches. These easy steps will help you set up strategies to get your child to listen to you and make your life and your child's life easier on both of you.

• Always talk eye-to-eye or face-to-face. If your child is in the next room and you want to talk to him/her walk in to the room, rather than yell from another room and express in words, calm words, that your child will understand that you would like to talk to him/her.
• When you are talking to your child have a smile on your face. Not necessarily a 'smile' per say, but a pleasant look, not an angry or mad look. Your child is more likely to respond to you when you approach pleasantly. Even when you have to talk to your child about something bad, make sure you keep your happy face on and stay strong. 
• Have a daily routine. It is very important for your child to have structure in their lives. When they have a schedule or routine, they know what has to be done next and are less likely to question your actions. 
• Ask your child not to yell. Just tell your child if he/she yells you will walk away and go about your business. Let them know that you will do/expect the same thing. When a child does this to a parent, the parent should be able to look at the situation and realize what just happened. Realize that the parent is acting just like the child.
• Walk away from the argument. This stops the fight and shows the child that you are in control. 

Sometimes, it seems like nothing will work, so you yell, make your voice louder and stronger, but it only makes the situation worse. 

Yelling at Your Kids Does Not Work

To discipline your kids, yelling at them is not going to help. Kids tend to tune out someone with anger. The only one you are hurting by yelling is your self.

The child tends to get scared when there is yelling and usually makes the situation worse. The child doesn't respond to yelling because his/her mind goes into emotional mode in order to withstand the yelling. When your child listens to you yell, it is hard for him/her to protect themselves emotionally and listen to you at the same time, so they tend to retreat inside themselves in order to protect themselves or they will yell back out of defense.

It's hard to punish your child for yelling at you when you are yelling at them. Your child doesn't hear what you say when you are yelling and can cause emotional stress, low self-esteem, and anger problems when growing up.

Psychological Disorders

 Psychological disorders are patterns of behavioral or psychological symptoms that impact multiple areas of like and are known as mental disorders. Here are a list of psychological disorders.

Adjustment Disorders

These mental disorders causes emotional and behavioral symptoms. The criteria for  (DSM-IV) diagnostic includes distress that is usually excessive for what would expected from the stressor and usually creates impairment in school, work or social environments. These symptoms must occur within three months of the trauma and the symptoms must last longer than six months. 

Anxiety Disorders

These disorders are usually know for having excessive and abnormal fear, worry and anxiety. The types of anxiety disorders are generalized, Agoraphobia, social anxiety disorder, Phobias, panic disorders, PTSD- Post traumatic stress disorder and separation anxiety. 

Cognitive Disorders

These disorders involve memory, problem solving and perception. Anxiety disorders, mood disorders and some psychotic disorders are sometimes classified as cognitive disorders. Cognitive disorders include, Alzheimer's disorder, delirium, dementia and amnesia.

Developmental Disorders

Childhood disorders are also known as developmental disorders and are usually typically diagnosed during infancy, childhood or adolescence. Some developmental disorders include, mental retardation, learning disabilities, communication disorders, autism, ADHD, conduct disorder and oppositional defiant disorder. 

Dissociative Disorders

These disorders include identity and memory, they also involve a dissociation or interruption in consciousness. Some the dissociative disorders include, multiple personality disorder, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity and depersonalization.

Eating Disorders

People with eating disorders are normally concerned with weight and disruptive eating patterns that affect their lives negatively, physically and mentally. The types of eating disorders are, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and rumination disorder.

Factitious Disorders

The people with this psychological disorder usually acts as if he/she are sick, usually faking or exaggerating symptoms or self inflicting damage to their bodies. The types of this disorder are, Munchausen syndrome, munchausen syndrome by proxy, gander syndrome.

Impulse-Control Disorders

These disorders are the inability to control impulses, usually resulting in harm to oneself or to others. The types of these disorders are stealing, fire starting, hair pulling, gambling, intermittent explosive disorder, skin picking.

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Developmental Milestone

Most people want to know what a Developmental Milestone is. This is an ability that is achieved by most children by a certain age. These milestones can involve, physical, social, emotional, cognitive and communication skills, walking, sharing with others, expressing emotions, recognizing familiar sounds and talking.

The four major categories for these developmental milestones are…

Physical
These include large motor skills and fine motor skills. The large motor skills include sitting up, standing, crawling and walking are are usually the first to develop. Fine motor skills include grasping at a spoon, holding objects, drawing shapes and picking up small objects.

Cognitive
Cognitive is centered around the child's ability to think, learn and solve problems. When an infant responds to someone's facial expressions this is a sign of cognitive milestone.

Social and emotional
When a child understands their own emotions and other people's emotions, and can learn how to interact with other people, this is called social and emotional milestones

Communication
Language and nonverbal communication is involved in this milestone.

Every parent must remember that each child is unique and that each child's milestone will develop on it's own time, even though these milestones typically take place during a certain time in the child's life. These developmental abilities tend to build on each other and will come more easily to the child if it is practiced.

A child generally begins to walk anytime between the ages of 9 and 15 months, just because the child is walking at 11 months doesn't mean that another child is behind if he/she is not walking at 12 months. So, anytime between 9-15 months is normal. On the other hand, if a child is over 15 months and still cannot walk, the parents might consider consulting their child's primary care provider or a developmental specialist to determine if some type of developmental issue is present.

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Developmental Psychology and Issues

Nature vs. Nuture


One of the oldest issues in both philosophy and psychology is the debate over the relative contributions of inheritance and the environment. But some philosophers, such as, Plato and Descartes support the idea that some are inborn. Some other philosophers, such as John Locke argued a belief that the mind is a blank slate at birth, with experience determining our knowledge- also know as the concept of tabula rosa.


It is an interaction between these two forces that causes development. Some of the aspects of development are biological, such as puberty. But, puberty can be affected by environmental factors such as diet and nutrition.


Early Experience vs. Later Experience


Another important consideration in developmental psychology involves the relative importance of early experiences versus those that occur later in life.


By the age of five a child's personality is completely established, according to Freud. Those who have experiences deprived or abusive childhoods might never adjust or develop normally, if this is the case. Researchers have said that influence of childhood events does not necessarily have an affect over behavior throughout the life.


Continutiy vs Discontinuity


Does change occur smoothly over time or through a series of predetermined steps? This is a third major issue in developmental psychology.


As children grow older they display more of a certain skill also known as quantity. Most theories of development fall under these three areas:


1. Sigmund Freud believed in the importance of the unconscious mind and childhood experiences, this is called Psychoanalytic theories.


2. Classical conditioning, operant conditioning and social learning are called Learning theories. These learning theories focus on how the environment impacts behavior. The individual and the environment shapes behavior. 


3.The development of mental processes, skills and abilities is called cognitive theories. 

Abnormal Behavior and Individual Differences

Are you worried that your child is not developing normally? The focus on individual differences in development is becoming normal. There are many guidelines for ages at which certain skills are supposed to emerge, but these guidelines can make you concerned if your child falls slightly behind the norm.  

Development theories describe deficits in behavior and these are called psychoanalytic theories. Those who rely more on the environment's unique impact on the individual are called learning theories. When describing child development, psychologists look at both norms and individual differences. 

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Divorce

Many divorces include children. Most families are worried about the affects the divorce will have on the children. The parents are the most important people in the children's lives.

Children are usually frightened and confused by their parents divorce because it threats their security. The parents may turn to the child for comfort or direction. You have to let the children know that this is not their fault, how they are involved, or not involved and what will happen to them because most children often believe they have caused the conflict between their parents. A family's strength can help the children deal with the divorce.

Children often become more aggressive and uncooperative or withdrawal when reacting to divorce, parents should be alert to signs of distress in their child or children. Children can also experience low self-esteem and have problems with their own relationships.

Even though the parents will not live together, they need to remain involved with the children because children do best if they know their mother and father will still remain in their lives.
It is difficult to talk to children about divorce. Some suggestions to make it easier and less stressful to tell the children.

• Don't wait until the last minute
• Make sure you are with your spouse when you tell your child
• Keep the words simple
• Let the children know that you are sad and this is difficult for you as well
• Let the children know that this is not their fault
• Make sure they know that you will always be their parents and you both still love them
• Do not discuss with the child each other's problems with the children/child

ADHD-Signs, Treatments, Meds Part 2

There are many children who are undiagnosed and many children who are too often labeled incorrectly with ADHD.

Signs

These signs must be present in more than one setting.

• Six attention symptoms or 6 hyperactivity/impulsivity symptoms and they must be present before age 7.
• The symptoms must not be caused by another problem and must be present for 6 months and seen in two or more settings, for example, school and home.
• These symptoms need to be severe enough to cause difficulties in many settings, including relationships with peers.

An evaluation by a doctor may include

• Questionnaires for parent and teacher, such as Burks or Connors
• IQ testing and psychological testing of family and child
• A complete exam of mental, nutritional, physical, developmental and psychosocial

Treatment
It is important to provide a partnership between the health care provider, parents, or caregivers, and the child.

Guide therapy with specific, appropriate target goals

• Behavior therapy
• Medication
• Follow up regularly with doctor
• Make sure the child does have ADHD, make sure there is no other similar symptoms, and always follow the treatment plan if treatment is not working. 

Behavioral treatments and medication seems to work best for children with ADHD. The most common drug used in ADHD are Psychostimulants or stimulants. Some stimulants commonly used are Adderall, Focalin, Dexedrine, Dextrostat, Vyvanse, Ritalin, Concerta, Metadate and Daytrana.

Children may have stressful feelings related to ADHD and talk therapy may help both the child and family understand and gain control. To help guide a child's behavior parents should use a reward system and punishment consequences. The child's teacher is another important resource, make sure you communicate regularly with the child's teacher. Be consistent in your daily routines, this also means limiting distractions in the child's environment. Enough sleep, healthy diet, consistent rules and reward system are also more helpful treatment tips.

Source: NCBI

ADHD-Symptoms Part 1

ADHD means Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. ADHD can be a combination of inattentiveness, over activity, or impulsivity and in order to be diagnosed as ADHD these symptoms may be out of the normal range for a child's age and development.

Out of all the behavioral disorders in childhood, ADHD is the most commonly diagnosed. Three to Five percent of school aged children, mostly in boys are affected. No one really knows what causes it, we just know it may run in families. As the brain is developing, the ADHD is set early in childhood. Many other disorders can be confused with or appear to be ADHD, for example, depression, lack of sleep, learning disabilities, tic disorders, or other behavior problems, therefore, if you suspect that your child has ADHD your child should be examined by a doctor to rule out other conditions or reasons for the behavior. Children with ADHD may also have psychiatric problems, such as depression or bipolar disorder. 

ADHD symptoms 

 Inattentiveness 

• Does not give close attention to details and can make mistakes in school, fails to finish school work (because it requires mental effort), or duties in the workplace
• Difficulty paying attention during tasks or play
• When spoken to, does not listen
• Organizing tasks and activities are difficult at times
• Loses tools needed for tasks or activities, such as toys, books, pencils
• Forgets daily activities

Hyperactivity

• Doesn't sit still in seat
• May get up from his seat
• May run around the room or climbs in inappropriate places
• Can't play quietly
• The child may talk excessively, is always on the go

Impulsivity

• May blurt out talking 
• Can't wait his/her turn
• The child may interrupt or intrude

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Psychology Humor

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex." The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks. The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologist says,"very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?" The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?" The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex." "Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol and your child's name is Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go home."

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Child Abuse and Neglect

Child Abuse

Physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse are three types of abuse. Physical abuse is when the child is involved in a non-accidental injury. Emotional abuse is when the parent always puts blame on the child or the child is rejected. Sexual abuse is when the child is used as part of any sexual act. 

Neglect

Emotional neglect and physical neglect are two different types of neglect. Emotional neglect is when the child is not feeling loved, wanted, secure or worthy by the parent. Physical neglect is not having enough food or clothing, not getting medical attention, not keeping the child safe, not having heat in the winter or not providing basic needs or a safe place to live. 

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Behavioral Warning Signs

It is important to keep a good eye on their child's behavior because early childhood is a time for rapid growth and development.

It may be time to reconsider your current child care situation if your child displays sudden changes in behavior or it may be time to do something different at home if your child continues to show these behavior problems. Here are a couple warning signs to watch for...

• Excessive clinging- If your child has never been clingy before and all of a sudden is, there may be a sign of a problem. It's useful to note when and where this behavior takes place, for example, does your child become clingy before or after the sitter this may be a sign that the child is not receiving the attention he or she needs from the sitter, therefore additional attention is needed from you at this time.
• Cries non stop- A serious problem is when the child will not stop crying when left with a baby sitter/caregiver. You have to ask your self does my child cry in response when I leave all the time or just in response to a certain sitter?
• Frequent accidents-Poor supervision or physical abuse might be a sign of a pattern of accidents.
• Not comfortable communicating- Your child should feel the same way about their caregiver as they do about you, being able to communicate thoughts, concerns, feelings and problems. If your child cannot communicate with the sitter in this way this may be a sign that he/she is not receiving the emotional support and guidance he/she needs.
• Disobedient or defiant- Another problem that may show a sign of underlying problems with the sitter may be sudden displays of uncharacteristic disobedience or defiant behavior. It is important to develop a behavior plan with your child's caregiver in order to maintain stability and consistency.
• Noticeable behavior change-The most alarming warning signs are sudden or dramatic changes in behavior. Look into the situation immediately if you notice a change in your child's behavior or sleeping patterns.

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Absent Father

Whether a father is absent physically or emotionally it causes a child to lack understanding of how the world works, losing trust in others and them selves, become lost, insecure, lack confidence, the child doesn't see a meaningful future, they lack life and feel confused all because their father being unconscious in the child's life.  

Some children are crippled emotionally and socially, so therefore, lives their lives dysfunctional and stuck. When most children grow up without their father or "lack" of the father there are dark roots and the child may have resentment and a secret of anger and victimization. Yet, there are some kids who grow up hold jobs, get married and have children because they are able to keep up a surface of appearance of functionality. Sometimes the anger gets lost because it is hard to feel anger toward someone who was never there and they do nothing. 

Alcoholism, drug addiction, obesity, smoking, drug use, video games, gambling, allow them to feel filled when they really feel empty, which means they feel nothing.

Argumentativeness prevents the child from accepting the truth, which means they have accepted nothing.

Being late means they don't have to wait, so therefore they wait for nothing.

They do not respect them selves, revealing clothing, outrageous makeup, tattoos, piercings, etc. So, therefore they respect nothing.

They discover nothing if they have a learning disorder because it prevents them from discovering a world that seems hidden from them. 

They may forget things and prevents them from engaging with everyday life, this is called mental confusion, which, makes them engage with nothing. 

Procrastination prevents them from negotiating in a world they don't know yet, so they accomplish nothing. 

Children act in sexual preoccupation, self created mental fantasies, pornography, lust or sexual acts, prevents them from experiencing emotional intimacy, therefore they are intimate with nothing.

They trust nothing because suspiciousness prevents them from having trust in a world that they fear. 

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Anger

I will make a clear difference between anger, feeling hurt and irritated. When someone gets in our of our needs or desires we all feel a little hurt or irritated at times. Most people will say that anger is an emotion, but it is not an emotion. Anger refers to the desire to get even with or take revenge on whoever is causing the hurt.

When someone angers you your adrenaline starts pumping, your heart rate jumps, your blood pressure rises, these are immediate fight or flight physiological responses to a perceived threat. As a psychological reaction to those immediate physiological responses the rage and anger overrun your mind. Then you fall into a desire to revenge. You scream a curse, give a dirty look, and make threats. And there is your anger. Anger is the wish for harm or bad things to happen to the person who has obstructed you. You want to hurt the person in the same way they hurt you, so the psychological process is clear and simple. 

If something like a simple traffic jam leaves you feeling tense or frustrated, what do you do? You find something petty out of place at home and then blow up, just to take the frustration out on your family or you are at a bar and find a way for someone to offend you so you can get into a fight. You do this because you believe in your mind that these people have somehow hurt you and deserve to suffer for it, therefore angry can be expressed indirectly. 

Anger may be a natural or commonly occurring social reaction to hurt and insult and there is more to anger than meets the eye. Although it is natural, it doesn't mean that it is good for us! Poisons are also natural and are also deadly! There are many other ways to cope with hurt and insult than with anger. The reason I brought up poison, is because anger is like poison, because it degrades the quality of your own life as much as it hurts the life of another person. 

To acknowledge that you feel hurt is a healthy response to feelings of hurt and insult. Easier said than done. When you get angry you don't have time to feel your inner vulnerability and hurt, you just want to feel the power and get revenge. Anger just shows weakness and is a big puff of smoke, an emotional fraud, it makes you seal off your own emotional pain.

Unconscious anger, you suppress the awareness of your honest inner experiences, because you feel hurt by someone close to your or out of fear that your immediate impulse to hurt that person will cause you to lose that person's love. You can convince yourself that everything is fine and peaceful and the hurt becomes anger. You remain hurt while the desire to hurt the other person gets pushed into your unconscious where it stems into resentment. When you deny that you have anything to feel hurt about you are just deceiving yourself and your relationship. Anger turned inwards is often called depression. 

It is human to have hurt feelings in response to insult. Child abuse, domestic violence, drug addictions, hatred and prejudice can all be caused by these anger issues never becoming recognized. The people who usually let people walk all over them, rather than admitting that they feel hurt about anything usually  have a lot of resentment and dirt underneath their "welcome" mat (that would be me). 

Follow the hurt back into its roots in the past to all those times and circumstances that you felt the same way is another step in making a healthy response. Any insults in the present is magnified by similar insults from the past. If you don't recognize old insults from the past only makes the current insult seem larger. 

The last healthy response is to avoid negative responses to feelings of hurt and insult.

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Defiant, Disrespectful Children

It can make you feel frustrated to deal with a defiant and disrespectful child. You may feel that there is nothing you can do to turn your child's behavior around and you may feel like giving up. There are ways to deal with your defiant/disrespectful child. 


Defiant children can ruin your marriage, cause stress and have a negative influence on younger siblings. It is probably time to get some outside help if you have tried different strategies yourself. The child's behavior will just get worse over time. 


A counselor or therapist will try to get to the cause of the behavior and help you to strengthen your relationship and build some respect. A defiant child will often not talk to strangers, if he/she knows that the parents are involved somehow. The costs can add up quickly because it may take years to resolve the issues and although the kid may refuse the therapy, it is still important for him/her to be at the sessions. If parents need drastic measures, they usually choose military schools or boot camps. It is better for you to solve it yourself than send them away because they will just resent you later. 


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Child Psychologist

A child psychologist can counsel clients in therapeutic situations or do research to explore giftedness and developmental disabilities in the different aspects of child psychology. 

Some of the things a child psychologist may do are....

1. Love to diagnose or treat learning and developmental disabilities
2. Manage behavioral issues by working with the clients
3. Giving psychological tests, IQ, ADHD, school tests
4. Scientific research about childhood development
5. The psychologist works with a health care team to come up with a treatment for the client

Schools, courts, hospitals or mental health clinics is where child psychologists may be employed. Learning disorders, counseling students, conducting assessments and working with families to cope with academic problems, disabilities, or social issues are job duties for a school psychologist. Child psychologists may also work with clients who have gotten in trouble with the criminal justice system, they may also help prepare testify in court or help with child custody disputes. Those with psychological illnesses are who the child psychologists works with in the hospitals or private mental health offices. Child psychologists who work in hospitals evaluate clients, administer psychologist tests, conduct therapy sessions and diagnose mental disorders. 

To become a child psychologist 

Most people in the child psychology field would prefer to have a doctoral rather than a masters degree. Clinical or counseling psychology are what most people going into the psychology field prefer, they also choose to earn a Ph.D or Psy.D degree. More people are more interested in professional practice rather than research, says The American Psychological Association. In order to become a child psychologist, they must complete a supervised clinical internship and pass state and national tests. 

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Single Parenting

Single parenting.... means that you have to function as both mom and dad. I say this to inspire both those who are alone. It is challenging, but there are many examples of children who have been raised by mom or dad. In my article, I will explore fine children being raised by mom or dad and offer some important tips.

Children at a higher risk of behavior and social skills are children of divorce. The stress and trauma affected by the break up can cause behavioral problems associated with adjustment. The risks decrease when the parents can still come together as a team and support the best interests of the child/children.

We can't assume because we say single parenting that these children are children of divorce. Many single parents have never been married or survived the death of a loved one. Isolation, lack of support, financial struggles and emotional overwhelm can still be suffered by parents that are not divorced but have been impacted by a death. The child absorbs and mirrors the adult's feelings, for example, if the adult/parent is constantly stressed or overwhelmed, the child will feel this also.

To help you manage your stress, you need to get a support group, friends or relatives. Be relaxed, if you are not relaxed, your child cannot be relaxed. Start your own support group to talk about your experiences if there is not one in your area. If there is something that you need to get done or just some time on your own, offer to watch each others' children because it is important that you get some alone time, away from your child and job.

Having a role models of both genders for every child, this means finding a mentor. The mentors could be a coach, teacher, someone from a group, or a church. Before letting this mentor around your child, you need to know the person. The importance of a mentor of your child's gender is not to be underestimated
Most adults tend to be goal oriented, while most children are process orientated. Which means be an active participant in your child's growing awareness and what interests your child. You must allow your self to become process oriented in order to play with her or engage in her interests, engage your child in activities he/she loves. When you go beyond meeting the child's physical and emotional needs, this is how single parents creates that bond.

Make bonds with your child by connection and communication. During the tough and mundane moments, your child will need someone to be as a guide. Connecting and communicating with your child not only energizes you but it feels good and will meet your child's needs, it is difficult to do this as a single parent because you are their sole provider, but with married parents you have the support of the other parent when the other one is unavailable.

To create a healthy, loving relationship with your child try to incorporate these important tips in your child's life. Single parenting can be rewarding, fulfilling, and tough. The future of your child's physical, emotional and spiritual well-being depends on if you use the tips or not.

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Fitting in at school

Isolation from not being invited to play games or other age appropriate kid activities is a form of bullying, and social withdrawal, low self-esteem and even diminished academic achievement can result if adult intervention does not take place.

Children who are excluded from peers or don't have friends at child care or school could suffer lasting psychological damage. Kids may not necessarily tell their parents or other adults. Not sitting with others at a table, being excluded from games or social times such as recess or outdoor play, or not having anyone in a class or group who interacts with them in any way can be peer rejection. You notice that your child seems isolated on the playground, in the classroom, he often sits by himself. At home, he says he has no friends, or that he doesn't like school. When he's with family or the boy next door who he knows well, he's fine. And you have already ruled out serious disorders, such as autism or other conditions that affect child social development. 

Socially inhibited is what experts call these kind of children. With shy children, behaviors may include trouble fitting in or even talking to others. Making excuses like, "He's just shy," doesn't solve anything. Excessive shyness can lead to isolation, intimidation and trouble with learning. Shy children can often be overlooked because they do not have a learning disability or require formal mental health services. Parents often have limited success trying to figure out what to do. 

Possible social shyness is a sign. In early childhood, it is normal for a child to play alone next to another child playing alone, this is called "parallel play." By kindergarten children should be interacting with playmates fairly easily. 

Children feel more outgoing when they have friends and family using early socializing. A cold, rejecting environment, at home or elsewhere, will have the opposite effect. Socially isolated children can spiral into a cycle of rejection through elementary school and into the teen years. 

So, with this said...

What should parents/adults do if they suspect their child is the victim of social exclusion?

• If parents are concerned about their child, they should take the matter up with the child's care provider, teacher or coach. Ask the teacher/care provider whether they are taking steps to make the child feel included by other children or if they have noticed the problem.         
• While at home, make sure your child feels loved and supported. To assist with peer assistance, ensure social skills are taught to assist with peer assistance. If the exclusion is due to any socially-unacceptable behavior or patterns, this might discourage friendships from forming. 
• Make sure your child gets into activities outside of daycare or school to make sure the same patters of isolation, social withdrawal or exclusion doesn't exist. To help resolve the issue, you could place your child in a different classroom setting or different teacher. 
• Talking to a school counselor or a child psychologist will help if needed. If you ignore the problem, it just makes it worse for the child. A child's self-esteem and ability to make/have friends will not be addressed or resolved. 
• To make children more successfully engage with others, you can, as a parent, volunteer or help out in your child's classroom where you can observe interactions. 

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Night Terrors cont.

What causes night terrors.


I did a lot of research on this topic after 3 nights of my daughter having these. Here are some causes and ways to cope as a parent and help your child cope. This is an insert from kidshealth.org


What Causes Night Terrors?

Night terrors are caused by over-arousal of the central nervous system (CNS) during sleep. This may happen because the CNS (which regulates sleep and waking brain activity) is still maturing. Some kids may inherit a tendency for this over-arousal — about 80% who have night terrors have a family member who also experienced them or sleepwalking (a similar type of sleep disturbance).

Night terrors have been noted in kids who are:

• overtired or ill, stressed, or fatigued
• taking a new medication
• sleeping in a new environment or away from home

Night terrors are relatively rare — they happen in only 3-6% of kids, while almost every child will have a nightmare occasionally. Night terrors usually occur between the ages of 4 and 12, but have been reported in kids as young as 18 months. They seem to be a little more common among boys.

A child might have a single night terror or several before they cease altogether. Most of the time, night terrors simply disappear on their own as the nervous system matures.

Coping With Night Terrors

Night terrors can be very upsetting for parents, who might feel helpless at not being able to comfort or soothe their child. The best way to handle a night terror is to wait it out patiently and make sure the child doesn't get hurt by thrashing around. Kids usually will settle down and return to sleep on their own in a few minutes.

It's best not to try to wake kids during a night terror. Attempts usually don't work, and kids who do wake are likely to be disoriented and confused, and may take longer to settle down and go back to sleep.

There's no treatment for night terrors, but you can help prevent them. Try to:

• reduce your child's stress
• establish and stick to a bedtime routine that's simple and relaxing
• make sure your child gets enough rest
• prevent your child from becoming overtired by staying up too late

Understanding night terrors can reduce your worry — and help you get a good night's sleep yourself. But if night terrors happen repeatedly, talk to your doctor about whether a referral to a sleep specialist is needed.

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Stages of childhood

Child Psychology is a way of looking at the issues, stages and various influences that a child experiences throughout their development into functioning adults. The actual process of psychological development that the child goes through when growing up and the analysis and treatment of the various problems that a child may face throughout their development are two main areas that child psychology can be divided into. Many influences are responsible for shaping their ways of seeing the world, their ideas of their own identity and their place within society, during a child's development from infancy to adulthood. The factors that shape a child are environmental setting, family, community and the media. A child would develop successfully into a happily functioning adult, without any problems along the way, in a perfect world. This is not usually the case and many children find that they struggle throughout the process.

Infancy, early childhood, middle childhood, and adolescence are the four stages of childhood. I will give you a brief summary of the main stages of childhood development and the important steps and influences a child faces at each stage.

Infancy:

This stage lasts from birth until about the age of 2. A great deal of initial learning occurs in this stage. Parents behavior is an important part of this stage, this is called learning through environmental cues. Basic skills are mastered during this time, such as crying, nursing, coordination and the ability to represent images and objects with words. 

The parents are the most important influence in this stage of the child's life. A child at the ages of 7-9 months will experience attachment, and that is very common among parents at this age. This is an important factor in determining how a child will behave in future relationships as they mature. 

Early Childhood:

This is a child's early years, from 2-6 years old. This is when they undergo a great deal of mental development and social development. Identity is usually formed in this stage and the child learns how to function in a social setting. This is usually when children will learn about aggression and prosocial behaviour and that is why parenting is very important at this stage of development, as well as community influences. 

Middle Childhood:

During this stage, friendships and peer relations become very important, as children begin to spend a lot of time with their peers. It is important that they find a place within their social group, therefore this requires increased attention to social rules and an increased ability to consider other peoples point of view. Children are placed into a certain category of social status based on how they are treated by their peers. Children who receive positive attention from their peers are considered Popular children. Children who receive little attention or negative attention are considered rejected children. Children who are generally ignored by their peers rather than disliked are neglected. Children who receive both positive and negative attention are controversial children. Children who are selectively and actively harmed, psychologically and physically by a few in their peer group are usually victimized children. Bullies are children who act aggressively without provocation in order to dominate children. 

Why are some Children popular and others are not?

Popular children seem to be physically attractive and skilled at interacting and maintaining positive relationships, being socially competent. Rejected children are ofter highly aggressive and are often treated negatively. They underestimate how much others dislike them and they overestimate their competence and social skills. Neglected children are less sociable, but not aggressive or shy. Their social status will improve over time. They are often like by their teachers because they perform academically and are cooperative. Controversial children are aggressive, but they compensate for it by joking and using social skills so they don't break relationships with others. The children who lose their tempers easily and are immature or dependent are usually the victimized children. Bullies are usually aggressive without provocation and it is beneficial for them to behave that way because they usually get something they want. 

Self-Esteem:

This stage (Middle childhood) is the time when most children begin to judge themselves and are judged by others. Children who have good self-esteem see themselves as competent and smart and likes who they are. A child will have poor self-esteem if that child fails to demonstrate some skill that they feel makes them worthy. Children use two factors to judge their worth - their degree of competence and their acceptance. The children who will have the lower self-esteem will usually feel that they are lacking certain skills or are not accepted by others than those who perceive themselves to be high in these areas. 

Foundations for self-esteem:

Parenting plays a very important roll in the self-esteem of a child. There are three parental characteristics that combine to produce high self-esteem in children. 

1. Parents accept their children. Children with high self-esteem have mothers who are closer and more affectionate. A child views their mother as supportive and accepts their mother's approval.
2. Parents set clearly defined limits. Parents can contribute to a child's self definition by enforcing strict limits on a child's activities and appear to give their child a sense that norms are real and significant.
3. Parents respect individuality. Children who are allowed a great deal of self-expression usually have higher self-esteem. Parents show respect for children's ideas by reasoning with them and considering their points of view.

Adolescence 

Looking at the issues, stages and various influences that a child experiences throughout their development into functioning is this stage. Child and adolescent psychology can be divided into two main areas- the actual process of psychological development that the child goes through when growing up and the analysis and treatment of the various problems that a child may face throughout their development. 

This stage is from 12-18 years old and this is a particularly hard time for children. There are all kinds of new changes in their bodies and in their feelings. This stage is where the children are trying to leave behind their childhood and become adults so they often feel misunderstood. Rebellious behavior, lying, cheating, school performance problems, negative attitudes, disobedience and disrespect, sibling rivalry, drug and alcohol abuse, pressures from peers, depression, and issues of sexuality are how adolescence are usually characterized by.

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