Many divorces include children. Most families are worried about the affects the divorce will have on the children. The parents are the most important people in the children's lives.
Children are usually frightened and confused by their parents divorce because it threats their security. The parents may turn to the child for comfort or direction. You have to let the children know that this is not their fault, how they are involved, or not involved and what will happen to them because most children often believe they have caused the conflict between their parents. A family's strength can help the children deal with the divorce.
Children often become more aggressive and uncooperative or withdrawal when reacting to divorce, parents should be alert to signs of distress in their child or children. Children can also experience low self-esteem and have problems with their own relationships.
Even though the parents will not live together, they need to remain involved with the children because children do best if they know their mother and father will still remain in their lives.
It is difficult to talk to children about divorce. Some suggestions to make it easier and less stressful to tell the children.
• Don't wait until the last minute
• Make sure you are with your spouse when you tell your child
• Keep the words simple
• Let the children know that you are sad and this is difficult for you as well
• Let the children know that this is not their fault
• Make sure they know that you will always be their parents and you both still love them
• Do not discuss with the child each other's problems with the children/child
If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the mystery of the world we live in. ~ Rachel Carson
ADHD-Signs, Treatments, Meds Part 2
There are many children who are undiagnosed and many children who are too often labeled incorrectly with ADHD.
Signs
These signs must be present in more than one setting.
- Six attention symptoms or 6 hyperactivity/impulsivity symptoms and they must be present before age 7.
- The symptoms must not be caused by another problem and must be present for 6 months and seen in two or more settings, for example, school and home.
- These symptoms need to be severe enough to cause difficulties in many settings, including relationships with peers.
- Questionnaires for parent and teacher, such as Burks or Connors
- IQ testing and psychological testing of family and child
- A complete exam of mental, nutritional, physical, developmental and psychosocial
Treatment
It is important to provide a partnership between the health care provider, parents, or caregivers, and the child.
Guide therapy with specific, appropriate target goals
- Behavior therapy
- Medication
- Follow up regularly with doctor
- Make sure the child does have ADHD, make sure there is no other similar symptoms, and always follow the treatment plan if treatment is not working.
Children may have stressful feelings related to ADHD and talk therapy may help both the child and family understand and gain control. To help guide a child's behavior parents should use a reward system and punishment consequences. The child's teacher is another important resource, make sure you communicate regularly with the child's teacher. Be consistent in your daily routines, this also means limiting distractions in the child's environment. Enough sleep, healthy diet, consistent rules and reward system are also more helpful treatment tips.
Source: NCBI
ADHD-Symptoms Part 1
ADHD means Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. ADHD can be a combination of inattentiveness, over activity, or impulsivity and in order to be diagnosed as ADHD these symptoms may be out of the normal range for a child's age and development.
Out of all the behavioral disorders in childhood, ADHD is the most commonly diagnosed. Three to Five percent of school aged children, mostly in boys are affected. No one really knows what causes it, we just know it may run in families. As the brain is developing, the ADHD is set early in childhood. Many other disorders can be confused with or appear to be ADHD, for example, depression, lack of sleep, learning disabilities, tic disorders, or other behavior problems, therefore, if you suspect that your child has ADHD your child should be examined by a doctor to rule out other conditions or reasons for the behavior. Children with ADHD may also have psychiatric problems, such as depression or bipolar disorder.
ADHD symptoms
Inattentiveness - Does not give close attention to details and can make mistakes in school, fails to finish school work (because it requires mental effort), or duties in the workplace
- Difficulty paying attention during tasks or play
- When spoken to, does not listen
- Organizing tasks and activities are difficult at times
- Loses tools needed for tasks or activities, such as toys, books, pencils
- Forgets daily activities
- Doesn't sit still in seat
- May get up from his seat
- May run around the room or climbs in inappropriate places
- Can't play quietly
- The child may talk excessively, is always on the go
- May blurt out talking
- Can't wait his/her turn
- The child may interrupt or intrude
Psychology Humor
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex." The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks. The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologist says,"very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?" The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?" The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex." "Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol and your child's name is Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go home."
Child Abuse and Neglect
Child Abuse
Physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse are three types of abuse. Physical abuse is when the child is involved in a non-accidental injury. Emotional abuse is when the parent always puts blame on the child or the child is rejected. Sexual abuse is when the child is used as part of any sexual act.
Neglect
Emotional neglect and physical neglect are two different types of neglect. Emotional neglect is when the child is not feeling loved, wanted, secure or worthy by the parent. Physical neglect is not having enough food or clothing, not getting medical attention, not keeping the child safe, not having heat in the winter or not providing basic needs or a safe place to live.
Behavioral Warning Signs
It is important to keep a good eye on their child's behavior because early childhood is a time for rapid growth and development.
It may be time to reconsider your current child care situation if your child displays sudden changes in behavior or it may be time to do something different at home if your child continues to show these behavior problems. Here are a couple warning signs to watch for...
It may be time to reconsider your current child care situation if your child displays sudden changes in behavior or it may be time to do something different at home if your child continues to show these behavior problems. Here are a couple warning signs to watch for...
- Excessive clinging- If your child has never been clingy before and all of a sudden is, there may be a sign of a problem. It's useful to note when and where this behavior takes place, for example, does your child become clingy before or after the sitter this may be a sign that the child is not receiving the attention he or she needs from the sitter, therefore additional attention is needed from you at this time.
- Cries non stop- A serious problem is when the child will not stop crying when left with a baby sitter/caregiver. You have to ask your self does my child cry in response when I leave all the time or just in response to a certain sitter?
- Frequent accidents-Poor supervision or physical abuse might be a sign of a pattern of accidents.
- Not comfortable communicating- Your child should feel the same way about their caregiver as they do about you, being able to communicate thoughts, concerns, feelings and problems. If your child cannot communicate with the sitter in this way this may be a sign that he/she is not receiving the emotional support and guidance he/she needs.
- Disobedient or defiant- Another problem that may show a sign of underlying problems with the sitter may be sudden displays of uncharacteristic disobedience or defiant behavior. It is important to develop a behavior plan with your child's caregiver in order to maintain stability and consistency.
- Noticeable behavior change-The most alarming warning signs are sudden or dramatic changes in behavior. Look into the situation immediately if you notice a change in your child's behavior or sleeping patterns.
Absent Father
Whether a father is absent physically or emotionally it causes a child to lack understanding of how the world works, losing trust in others and them selves, become lost, insecure, lack confidence, the child doesn't see a meaningful future, they lack life and feel confused all because their father being unconscious in the child's life.
Some children are crippled emotionally and socially, so therefore, lives their lives dysfunctional and stuck. When most children grow up without their father or "lack" of the father there are dark roots and the child may have resentment and a secret of anger and victimization. Yet, there are some kids who grow up hold jobs, get married and have children because they are able to keep up a surface of appearance of functionality. Sometimes the anger gets lost because it is hard to feel anger toward someone who was never there and they do nothing.
Alcoholism, drug addiction, obesity, smoking, drug use, video games, gambling, allow them to feel filled when they really feel empty, which means they feel nothing.
Argumentativeness prevents the child from accepting the truth, which means they have accepted nothing.
Being late means they don't have to wait, so therefore they wait for nothing.
They do not respect them selves, revealing clothing, outrageous makeup, tattoos, piercings, etc. So, therefore they respect nothing.
They discover nothing if they have a learning disorder because it prevents them from discovering a world that seems hidden from them.
They may forget things and prevents them from engaging with everyday life, this is called mental confusion, which, makes them engage with nothing.
Procrastination prevents them from negotiating in a world they don't know yet, so they accomplish nothing.
Children act in sexual preoccupation, self created mental fantasies, pornography, lust or sexual acts, prevents them from experiencing emotional intimacy, therefore they are intimate with nothing.
They trust nothing because suspiciousness prevents them from having trust in a world that they fear.
Anger
I will make a clear difference between anger, feeling hurt and irritated. When someone gets in our of our needs or desires we all feel a little hurt or irritated at times. Most people will say that anger is an emotion, but it is not an emotion. Anger refers to the desire to get even with or take revenge on whoever is causing the hurt.
When someone angers you your adrenaline starts pumping, your heart rate jumps, your blood pressure rises, these are immediate fight or flight physiological responses to a perceived threat. As a psychological reaction to those immediate physiological responses the rage and anger overrun your mind. Then you fall into a desire to revenge. You scream a curse, give a dirty look, and make threats. And there is your anger. Anger is the wish for harm or bad things to happen to the person who has obstructed you. You want to hurt the person in the same way they hurt you, so the psychological process is clear and simple.
If something like a simple traffic jam leaves you feeling tense or frustrated, what do you do? You find something petty out of place at home and then blow up, just to take the frustration out on your family or you are at a bar and find a way for someone to offend you so you can get into a fight. You do this because you believe in your mind that these people have somehow hurt you and deserve to suffer for it, therefore angry can be expressed indirectly.
Anger may be a natural or commonly occurring social reaction to hurt and insult and there is more to anger than meets the eye. Although it is natural, it doesn't mean that it is good for us! Poisons are also natural and are also deadly! There are many other ways to cope with hurt and insult than with anger. The reason I brought up poison, is because anger is like poison, because it degrades the quality of your own life as much as it hurts the life of another person.
To acknowledge that you feel hurt is a healthy response to feelings of hurt and insult. Easier said than done. When you get angry you don't have time to feel your inner vulnerability and hurt, you just want to feel the power and get revenge. Anger just shows weakness and is a big puff of smoke, an emotional fraud, it makes you seal off your own emotional pain.
Unconscious anger, you suppress the awareness of your honest inner experiences, because you feel hurt by someone close to your or out of fear that your immediate impulse to hurt that person will cause you to lose that person's love. You can convince yourself that everything is fine and peaceful and the hurt becomes anger. You remain hurt while the desire to hurt the other person gets pushed into your unconscious where it stems into resentment. When you deny that you have anything to feel hurt about you are just deceiving yourself and your relationship. Anger turned inwards is often called depression.
It is human to have hurt feelings in response to insult. Child abuse, domestic violence, drug addictions, hatred and prejudice can all be caused by these anger issues never becoming recognized. The people who usually let people walk all over them, rather than admitting that they feel hurt about anything usually have a lot of resentment and dirt underneath their "welcome" mat (that would be me).
Follow the hurt back into its roots in the past to all those times and circumstances that you felt the same way is another step in making a healthy response. Any insults in the present is magnified by similar insults from the past. If you don't recognize old insults from the past only makes the current insult seem larger.
The last healthy response is to avoid negative responses to feelings of hurt and insult.
Defiant, Disrespectful Children
Defiant children can ruin your marriage, cause stress and have a negative influence on younger siblings. It is probably time to get some outside help if you have tried different strategies yourself. The child's behavior will just get worse over time.
A counselor or therapist will try to get to the cause of the behavior and help you to strengthen your relationship and build some respect. A defiant child will often not talk to strangers, if he/she knows that the parents are involved somehow. The costs can add up quickly because it may take years to resolve the issues and although the kid may refuse the therapy, it is still important for him/her to be at the sessions. If parents need drastic measures, they usually choose military schools or boot camps. It is better for you to solve it yourself than send them away because they will just resent you later.
Source
Child Psychologist
A child psychologist can counsel clients in therapeutic situations or do research to explore giftedness and developmental disabilities in the different aspects of child psychology.
Some of the things a child psychologist may do are....
- Love to diagnose or treat learning and developmental disabilities
- Manage behavioral issues by working with the clients
- Giving psychological tests, IQ, ADHD, school tests
- Scientific research about childhood development
- The psychologist works with a health care team to come up with a treatment for the client
Schools, courts, hospitals or mental health clinics is where child psychologists may be employed. Learning disorders, counseling students, conducting assessments and working with families to cope with academic problems, disabilities, or social issues are job duties for a school psychologist. Child psychologists may also work with clients who have gotten in trouble with the criminal justice system, they may also help prepare testify in court or help with child custody disputes. Those with psychological illnesses are who the child psychologists works with in the hospitals or private mental health offices. Child psychologists who work in hospitals evaluate clients, administer psychologist tests, conduct therapy sessions and diagnose mental disorders.
To become a child psychologist
Most people in the child psychology field would prefer to have a doctoral rather than a masters degree. Clinical or counseling psychology are what most people going into the psychology field prefer, they also choose to earn a Ph.D or Psy.D degree. More people are more interested in professional practice rather than research, says The American Psychological Association. In order to become a child psychologist, they must complete a supervised clinical internship and pass state and national tests.
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